Saints and Sinners

One stormy, snowy Friday morning, three fellow St. Bernard breeders (friends, but also competitors) were traveling together to exhibit at an important specialty. Their driving route took them through some mountains with steep and twisting roads. While they were in a station wagon, their three Saints were in a specially designed trailer made for large dogs.

While driving down a steep grade, the car and trailer lost control on the ice and slipped off the road and down the hillside. The car came to rest wedged between trees, trapping the unharmed people inside, far below the road and not visible to anyone driving by. From this vantage point they could see that the trailer had become unhitched. It rolled into another tree and broke open, allowing the three dogs to escape, all unharmed.

Each breeder now secretly thought, “Aha! My dog to the rescue!”

Breeder #1’s brilliantly colored dog was the first to head up the hill toward the road. Surely, she thought, his huge size and bright color would attract the attention of anyone driving by and he would save them. Unfortunately, while size and color were consistent in her breeding program, good hips weren’t. A few steps through the deep snow and dog #1 collapsed under some bushes, awaiting rescue himself.

Breeder #2 smugly observed what had happened and was proud that her dog had OFA Excellent hips. He was also on the cutting edge of the most extreme type favored in the show ring these days. Who needed leg length when you had a massive head with an extremely deep stop? All the newer people were rushing to breed to him, as they felt this was the future of the breed. As he left the trailer and headed up the hill (slowly, as his short little legs were having trouble in the snow-covered terrain), his “lovely, deep stop” also filled with snow so he couldn’t see where he was going. His Excellent hips now carried him down the hill, away from any traffic and all hope of being seen.

Breeder #3 was having a hard time containing her pride. She now knew it would be her dog that saved them all … and the other two breeders would be forced to watch! She had always checked hips and knew her dog was sound and strong. She bred to the standard and didn’t follow fads, so her dog had the leg length to get through the snow, the size and substance to do it easily and with power, and a proper head to enable him to clearly see where he was going. His bright color would make him easy to see when he did reach the road above. She had thought of everything, and now it was all going to pay off.

Oh, how bad Breeder #1 and Breeder #2 were going to feel when her dog saved the day! All the other people at the specialty would hear of the magnificent accomplishment of her dog! She couldn’t have been more excited and proud!

As all three watched, her dog did exactly as she had hoped. In no time he was up by the road, where a passing highway patrol car saw him and stopped. The officer got out of the car and came over to the dog, who promptly attacked and killed him.

End of fable.

Author’s note: I heard this obviously-not-true story about 50 years ago. At the time, St. Bernards were extremely popular and were seen all the time. Checking a 1971 Santa Barbara Kennel Club catalog, there were 114 Saints entered, and it took 28 dogs and 24 bitches for three-point majors. Also at the time, there were some serious temperament problems in the breed, hence the origin of this story.

I’ve never seen this printed anywhere, or even heard it retold … it just lingered in a corner of my mind for five decades. I thought, “I better get this written out before it’s forgotten forever,” so here it is.